Pregnancy Ticker

Sunday, October 17, 2010

A New Normal

As you’ve probably noticed, my posts have been very few and far between – I’ve been a tad bit busy. Before I had a baby, I observed my best friend Michelle run on no sleep and keep a schedule of constantly hectic days. Being the childless naive friend that I was, I once asked her (very nicely) “how does one baby make you so busy, tell me what all you have to do in one day…” I was genuinely interested as we were beginning to think about bringing a little one into the world and I wanted to know what I was getting myself into. She just said “Callie, I don’t even know where to begin to tell you everything that goes into it but I will tell you that it is the best and hardest thing you’ll ever do.” I couldn’t have said it better myself and I found an article that sums it up impeccably:

TELL ME ABOUT IT ®

(Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post

By Carolyn Hax
Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Carolyn:

Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .

Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.


Tacoma, Wash.

Relax and enjoy. You're funny.

Or you're lying about having friends with kids.

Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.

Internet searches?

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.


So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.

It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.

It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.

It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.

It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.

It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.

Write to Tell Me About It, Style, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, ortellme@washpost.com.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/22/AR2007052201554.html

Which brings me to my main point—babies create a new normal in your life and by that I mean a year ago, normal to me would be a great day at work: the market rallies and the Dow closes over 10,000, bringing in new assets under management, opening new client accounts, tax harvesting gains and losses in client’s portfolios, come home, fix dinner or go to dinner and be in bed by 10pm= SUCCESS. Now my new normal is: it’s five o’clock in the afternoon and I’m still in my yoga pants and tank top, baby throw up in my hair, no makeup and all I’ve had to eat are stale cookies someone brought me a few days ago. However, Rob is clean, fed, happy, healthy and oh so peacefully sleeping in his little lamby swing and all I can think about is seeing him in an hour or two waking up with that little gummy smile on his face that I’ve come to live for. Rusty is somewhat clean, fed and peacefully sleeping and I have a few minutes to myself to start laundry, wash dishes and throw something together for dinner, if I’m lucky I will get to take a shower and try to look halfway presentable before my husband gets home = SUCCESS! Now that Rob is almost 7 weeks old, things are much less hectic and we’ve settled into a great routine but it is still constant work and constantly rewarding. I always say I can’t tell if I’m deliriously tired or deliriously happy! As crazy as it sounds, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Now, that’s not to say that I won’t go back to work; I love what I do, I love my degree and I’m good at it. It’s part of who I am and what makes me me; but as for right now I am absolutely loving my new normal.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Where to Begin?--Birth Story!!

I know it’s been a while but I really don’t even know where to begin, as you can imagine the past few weeks have been filled with the most life altering experiences I’ve ever encountered, every second of my day is filled with making sure Rob’s needs are met. Showers, phone calls, hot meals and makeup are all luxuries and take a backseat to feedings, diaper changes and pediatrician appointments. Rob’s naptime is my new happy hour! It is the best hard work you could ever imagine, without sounding like a major cheeseball, I love him more than I could have ever, ever imagined; he makes me so happy my heart hurts; it really is an unexplainable type of love. The minute I saw him I new I would die for him and I would do anything in my power to never let anything bad happen to him … with that being said, the first few nights were ROUGH!!! No matter how much you love your baby, it is still the biggest life adjustment you will ever experience! I breastfed through tears at first (we now have the hang of it but NO ONE told me how hard it was going to be!!!) I remember sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery the first night home, Rob was crying inconsolably, I was crying because I couldn’t soothe my baby and I remember thinking: “What am I doing?!? He might be an only child because I’m the worst Mom ever; I can’t even comfort my baby!” Even though that was only a few weeks ago, I can look back on that and laugh because every night gets so much easier and every day brings new challenges but also new blessings.

Enough rambling! I guess I need to start with Rob’s birth story:

My due date was August 21st and of course the date had come and gone with no signs of my little one wanting to budge so finally after much urging from my doctor, I agreed to a scheduled induction on Sunday, August 29th at 9 pm. I knew it was going to be a long road; I wasn’t dilated or effaced at all and he was still basically up in my ribcage. I had prepared myself to be in for the long haul … call it Mother’s Intuition already kicking in but I knew it was going to be a long process with an extremely high probability of the labor ending in a c section. When I arrived at the hospital (Methodist in the Medical Center), I was of course a little nervous but was quickly greeted by the sweetest nursing staff you could imagine. We got set up in our room (where we would be for the next WEEK) and they started the basic IV fluids – which would later make me more swollen than a stuffed hog. At about 10 pm they gave me the first dose of Cytotec orally; it’s a pill used to help start contractions and soften the cervix. I did start having some mild contractions, nothing too painful but definitely more noticeable than Braxton Hicks. At 3:30 am Monday morning I was dilated 1cm and about 30% effaced, not monumental progress but it was better than nothing! So then they gave me round 2 of cytotec and an Ambien so I could sleep and was I GLAD I got some sleep, it was the last night of semi-good sleep I’ve had since!

At 10 am Monday morning the nurse came in and started the Devil Water (DW), or more commonly known as Pitocin. (It’s an artificial version of the hormone Oxytocin that your body produces naturally when you’re in labor.) The Cytotec managed to help me dilate to 2cm and 40% effaced but now it was time to bring out the big guns. At first the DW started off on the lowest possible amount dripping into my IV, no big deal; I got up put on makeup, was checking email and facebook, talking on the phone, etc. But as the day wore on they upped the dosage every 15 minutes and before I knew it I was gripping the bed rails. I thought the pain was bad, but I had no idea what the next day would bring… my water had yet to be broken! So Tuesday morning rolls around and my doctor is like “okay, we have to get this show on the road, we need to have this baby today” so she broke my water at 5 am on Tuesday. Uh muh guhd. OUCH!!!!!! Whatever I thought were contractions before this point were a trip to the petting zoo compared to this. A lot of people say contractions feel like extremely painful menstral cramps, I just don’t see it. The only thing this had in common with those cramps was that the pain was in the same region. It literally felt like someone was ripping out my insides (sorry if that’s too graphic, there’s no other way to explain it!) It was unbelievable – so I had these contractions ALL DAY on Tuesday and didn’t opt for any IV pain meds until about 5:30 pm that evening (stupid), at 6 the doctor checked me and I was 4 cm and 60% effaced, she looked at me in agony and she said “Callie, I’m giving you two more hours and then we are going to have to do a C section.” At this point, any rationally thinking person would have said to themselves: “self, I’ve been in labor for almost 2 days and I’m dilated to a 4, she’s giving me 2 hours to get to a 10, lets’ just go ahead and get this over with” but me being stubborn, sleep deprived and now feeling the effects of the nubane coursing through my veins, I thought….maybe somehow I will just magically dilate to a 10 in two hours!!! Needless to say, that was two more hours of torture I could have done without and at 8pm the doctor started to prep me for a c section. First, she called in the anesthesiologist (at this point I wanted to name my son after her for putting me out of my misery) let me tell you …. GET THE EPIDURAL AS SOON AS YOU CAN!! I didn’t get it until 40 minutes before my son was born and after I did get it, I could have run a marathon while in labor simultaneously. Get the epidural.

So they wheeled me into the OR and Rob was out in about 15 to 20 minutes, pink, puffy and crying. That cry was like music to my ears, I had waited for an eternity to see him, hear him hold him and now it was happening I just couldn’t believe it! Here he was, after being 10 days late and enduring 46 hours of labor, he was born on August 31st at 8:44 pm weighing 8lbs, 3ozs, 20 ¾ inches long. He scored a 9 out of 10 on his APGAR test (already making me a proud Mama by acing tests) and as soon as we were back in my room I was holding him on my chest and he lifted his head up to look at me, turned it to the right and to the left and put it back down on my chest. He was just a FEW HOURS OLD!!! That is a milestone that a lot of babies don’t accomplish for a few WEEKS!! All the nurses, doctors and the pediatrician kept talking about how remarkable his head control was! Okay, sorry I’ll stop bragging about my child now 

Everyone asks if the incision and recovery of the c section hurts. Honestly, I didn’t think it was bad at all. I was up out of the bed the next morning and walking the halls that afternoon. We left the hospital on Friday and I never even filled my prescription pain meds. I went back for my 2 week check up this past Tuesday so the doctor could look at my incision and it’s already healed.

So we are getting settled into a routine, doing great with exclusively breastfeeding and I’m learning what all of his different cries mean. Now that’s not to say we don’t still have rough nights but more often than not he’s sleeping some good three and four hour stretches at night which is pure BLISS!! I will try and write more often but as you know, everything takes a backseat to my baby Rob right now : )

Friday, August 27, 2010

Week 41: In My Hospital Bag

As you all know, the big day came and went and here I am still as pregnant as ever! My hospital bag has been packed for about two weeks now and my anxiety is growing by the day. Here are a few things I've included:

My "couture" blue and tan leopard print hospital gown (hand made by my Mama)
Robe
IPod with my push playlist
Camera and video camera
Fuzzy Socks
Peanut butter and oatmeal cookies for the nurses (hopefully I can bribe them into giving us a "suite")
Two sets of nursing PJ's
My Laura Bush book
Refillable water bottle
Hand held fan
Chapstick
Sugar Free Jolly Ranchers (I won't be able to eat anything!)
Laptop
Toiletries
Snacks for Carlysle
Three outfits for Rob

All you Mamas out there let me know if I'm leaving anything out!!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Week 40: Seriously Rob, Mama Said It’s Okay to Come Out Now

So I went to my 41 week appointment today and NOTHINGGGG!! I had major, continuous, uncomfortable Braxton Hicks contractions all weekend so I thought surely, surely I would be somewhat dilated, effaced, softened, something but nope! Apparently Rob plans on staying in there until Christmas. I broke down and cried in the Doctor’s office, I just lost it and I don’t even know why! I think it’s a combination of lack of sleep (I cannot get comfortable at all I’ve been having major insomnia), crazy hormones and being completely frustrated. I am not what one would consider a patient person to begin with so you can imagine my agony as I cross off the days on the calendar awaiting his arrival. This is seriously torture! I have put in my time (almost 41 weeks now) and I want to hold my baby. I have literally tried EVERY natural labor induction method known to man including but not limited to: Evening Primrose Oil capsules, Red Raspberry Leaf tea, bouncing on the birthing ball, walking, walking and MORE walking, reflexology pressure points, pineapple, eggplant, tons of jalapenos, lunges, squats and jumping jacks, swimming, and a few others I won’t mention here … (I refuse to try Castor Oil). So the plan is to wait some more. There’s a full moon tonight but I think it would take more than a miracle for this iron-clad cervix to budge.

Here are a few semi-recent preggo pictures:



Thursday, August 19, 2010

Week 39: You Guessed It!

Still no signs of Rob making his appearance any time soon! This week's appointment was so funny though... Let me preface this story by saying that I absolutely love my doctor; she is young, funny, extremely smart, always answers all of my questions and never makes me feel rushed. We have developed a very jovial-banter type relationship over the past nine months. So yesterday when she walked in the room I was perched on the table, ready for my weekly exam and I swung my feet up in the stirrups and said enthusiastically: "Okay I'm ready to push!" She starts cracking up and says: "Just let me know when you want me to schedule you!" We were both laughing but I was serious when I told her that I really don't want to be induced. I explained that I'm not against medical intervention at all but if I'm healthy and the baby's healthy, what's the rush? (You have NO idea how hard it is for me to not jump at the chance to be induced. I am the most hyper-scheduled person ever and HATE surprises, I just have this weird gut feeling that I need to wait.) She agreed but explained that the placenta is only designed to do it's job for a certain length of time (40 weeks) and after that period of time, it can start to deteriorate and not allow the baby to receive the proper nutrients and oxygen. So I told her I'll wait as long as she'll let me.

Before the exam, I had an ultrasound to check Rob's weight -- which is currently 8 lbs (plus or minus one pound margin of error), the amniotic fluid level, heart rate (139 bpm), fetal movement, etc. Everything is great, the doctor said my fluid is actually much higher than normal. The ultrasound technician said he wasn't moving around very much, he must have been taking a nap or he's run out of room and she kept commenting on how large his belly was! So basically she told me my baby was fat and lazy haha! He has a tiny bit of hair, she said it's probably 1mm long, we could kind of see it waving around on his head.

So again, no contractions, no pre-labor signs... I honestly feel the exact same as I did when I was 20 weeks pregnant. I'm banking my hopes on the fact that next Wednesday is a full moon. Please keep sending labor vibes my way!!!

Week 38: Signs You Know You're Ready to Have That Baby!

10. Your belly now doubles as a cup holder.

9. Your husband graciously agrees to shave your legs for you since you can't bend over anymore.

8. You get heartburn after drinking a glass of water.

7. Your feet are so puffy, the term cankles doesn't even properly describe their condition.

6. Apparently, the size of your belly causes people to lose all tact and discretion, forcing them to ask you: "Are you having twins?" Or exclaim: "Oh my God, you're SO HUGE!" or, my all time favorite: "Sweetie, are you okay? You look like you're about to pop...." Lovely.

5. All you want for your birthday is to be dilated

4. You have packed and re-packed your hospital bag, adding more non-essentials each time.

3. The slightest twinge down there causes you to think "This is it!!!"

2. Your top Google search is now "Natural ways to induce labor."

1. You've changed your voicemail to: "No, I haven't had the baby yet, If you need something else please leave a message and I'll call you back." : )

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Week 37: Baby Update and Non-Baby Obsessions

Okay, first ... the update. So I definitely know the drill at the Doctor's office by now and the past three visits I've heard the same story-- No dilation, effacement or any evidence of pre-labor signs. Mama makes a good home : ) This time I kept thinking "All I want for my birthday is to be dilated to AT LEAST 1cm shoot, I would even take .5cm!" haha! But sure enough ... nothing. I'm sure he would stay in there until October if we let him but this week the doctor informed me that we'll be doing an ultrasound next Wednesday to check fluid levels and if they're not to her liking we'll set a date for induction. You might be just as confused by this information as I was at first--I was thinking: "Induction? It's August 10th and I'm not due until August 28th!" She must have noticed the perplexed look on my face because she said "do you have any dates in mind?" To which I replied: "Um, no, I really don't want to induce unless we absolutely have to! Now I'm not too sure I'll feel the same way if I'm still pregnant in September...." and she said: "September! Honey your due date is next weekend (Aug 21st) I will not allow you to go into September still pregnant." Okay 1. Am I already a bad Mom for mistaking MY OWN DUE DATE?!!! I mean, granted, it's changed a million and one times since conception but still! This whole time I was thinking I had two, three maybe even four weeks left! But she informed me that it is FOR SURE August 21st and she won't let me go a week past my due date. So that's that. I REALLY don't want to be induced so please send lots of labor vibes my way and lets hope that I start on my own!!!! Which is highly unlikely considering the only pre-labor symptom I've experienced so far is what I like to refer to as "lightning crotch." I'm sure that's not the Harvard Medical School term for it but that's the best way to describe it -- a sharp, piercing pain down there that the doctor says is "completely normal" (yeah right!) and is caused by a muscle spasm due to lots of stress on the Round Ligament (helps to hold the Uterus in place). It hurts so bad it literally takes my breath away and then goes away just as fast as it started. FUN!

Okay on to the next ... I've been trying to stay occupied with non-baby stuff to stay sane so here are some of my latest fixations:

In My Tummy: CRAVE Cupcakes -- Oh. My. Gosh. I don't care what kind of diet you're on, you must try one of these ASAP. It's in Uptown Park (Houston) and they are TO DIEEEEE FOR! And no, they will not be a part of my post-preggo diet :(

On My Nightstand: Spoken From the Heart by Laura Bush -- I have just always thought so highly of Mrs. Bush; she is so poised, beautiful and classy and I think women everywhere could learn a lot from her grace regardless of how you feel about politics. I also LOVE her West Texas roots, both sets of my grandparents are from Midland/Odessa and my Great Aunt Patricia knew Mrs. Bush personally.

In My Makeup Bag: Tarina Tarantino Dollface Powder -- Google it and check out the fabulous compact!!! Now everyone knows my obsession with all things sparkley so yes, I was initially attracted to the compact. BUT the powder is really great too :)

On My Radar: Major splurge = Post baby vacay to Napa Valley, but I'll settle for a romantic dinner to Nino's for my birthday :)